I am a very ignorant man.
Not too many years ago, I knew a great deal. I knew more than any politician, more than most philosophers, and a great deal more than many Catholic bishops. More to the point, I knew more than you.
All that changed when I went to the Institute for Trained Imbecility (ITI), followed by Mental Upheaval (MU). With each passing month I knew less and less. Where before I could read a book and discourse learnedly about the author’s errors, now I could do little more than tremble and gape.
Ignorance had overtaken me.
So deep is my ignorance and so dark is my mind that I was almost convinced I must be the most ignorant man on the earth. The question tormented me, and at length I went to the oracle at Delphi to ask, “Who is the most ignorant man on earth?” The prophetess inhaled the ecstatic vapors of the cave, swooned and cried out in her trance, and fell down in a slumber.
It was something of a letdown. Not to be defeated, my friend and I kicked her in the side and threw water on her face until she woke enough from her drugged stupor to mumble the words, “Ray Moose.”
Eureka! One man on the planet more ignorant than I, and his name is Ray Moose!
Months of feverish activity followed as I tried to find this mysterious, this elusive, this most stupid of men. At first I thought I had identified him as the local newspaper editor; then I was sure that he was a congressman from Massachusetts; after that, my investigation led me to the door of a famous actor in Los Angeles. Only slowly did the truth dawn on my benighted brain: Ray Moose is everywhere. He is the single most influential man in the United States. He owns newspaper chains, television stations, universities; his lackeys are in congress, on the city council, in Hollywood; he writes novels, publishes web pages, maintains an active blog.
He is also fond of hiking in Alaska, but that is neither here nor there.
This blog is dedicated to repelling the ever-growing power of this mysterious man whom nobody knows but everyone quotes. Perhaps if we refute him, he will go away. Perhaps if we throw the cold water of reason on his hot-tempered conclusions, people will ignore him.
If I can see through him, I who am the second most ignorant man on the planet, surely others can. So I beg you:
IGNORE RAY MOOSE!
